Mike and Jenny were visiting a friend of theirs. Heather was an old college roommate of Jenny’s who had married into a very wealthy family. The wealth was rumored to be $5 billion dollars. When Mike looked up Heather’s new family, the mother of Heather’s husband was on the Forbes wealthiest women’s list. Mike said, “Jenny, maybe we shouldn’t go visit. I don’t know if I will be comfortable with Heather’s new family and whatever they do for entertainment. Who knows?”
Jenny and Mike drove up to Heather’s magnificent house. Large and sprawling. Different from the small house Heather grew up in. Mike and Jenny were on their best behavior. Heather’s husband, Jeff, was great. Besides a few clues of wealth, he was really a likeable and nice guy. Mike and Jeff talked about sports and business. They connect and become reasonable friends. That night when Jenny and Mike were in their bedroom, Jenny asked, “So what did you think of Heather’s husband, Jeff?”
Mike thought, “You know, I wouldn’t even think he was raised in extreme wealth. He is the nicest guy you ever would meet. Just a regular guy.”
The next day, things changed. At breakfast, Heather was tense. She said, “Jeff’s father is coming for dinner tonight. He is the big deal. The billionaire. Make sure you wear the nicest clothes. Jenny, can you help me make dinner? It has to be perfect.”
That night, Heather and Jeff were nervous. Jeff greeted his dad, Fred, with a handshake. Not a hug. Fred seemed nice, with a wife as young as Heather and Jenny. But everything was orchestrated around Fred. In the living room, they knew a certain chair was Fred’s. No one else could sit in it. In the dining room, Fred sat in a certain place. Fred’s silverware arranged a certain way. His drink was specific. Mike was getting the feeling this was all staged for one man, the billionaire. Jeff seemed afraid of Fred.
As dinner went on, Fred said some surprising things. He was moving one of his factories overseas, as too many of the US workers were black. Black was nice for the word Fred used. Jenny was red in the face. Fred droned on about Fox News and what he heard. Fred said that if liberals ran the country no one would get rich. Fred said, “Hell, I would never have made billions without Reagan cutting my taxes. I ended up saving $100,000 a year in taxes with Regan. Each time, I took that money and just bought a money certificate. When I cashed out, I turned my tax savings into over $1.2 million dollars.” He turned to his wife. “Honey, that tax savings bought our lake cottage.” Jenny was getting madder.
Fred couldn’t know how offensive he was. The next thing was over the top. Fred said, “You know, each factory or business I have, I insist that whichever medical insurance we pick, I get a $1.5 million upfront bonus from the insurance company to allow them to give my employees health care. That $1.5 million shows me they are serious in taking care of my people.” Jenny got up from the table and left before she said something hurtful.
Later that night, Mike walked into the guest bathroom. As he got inside, he noticed Fred was there. He had had an accident. The front of his pants was covered in urine. This man who everyone feared. Who talked about people like they were pawns. He had peed his pants. Fred said, “Do me a solid and go get my wife.”
That night Jenny fumed. “Can you believe that guy? Fred, this big billionaire, takes bribes from healthcare companies. He uses his tax rebates to buy new houses. This is wrong.”
Mike laughed, “Relax. Despite everyone walking on eggshells around him tonight, I was in the bathroom with him. He peed his pants like a little boy. Or an old man. He is human. He has flaws. We can’t always put these people on pedestals. That is the mistake of America. Billionaires are just like you and me; it is only when we elevate them that we make ourselves feel inferior.”